The year is 1972 and our beloved Paul is now age seven. He's a little bit older and a little bit wiser, but still hasn't got the faintest clue about how to handle women.

"Yay! Ze Zoo! I luff animals! I vant to see ze monkeys!!" yelled little Paul as he ran excitedly off the school bus, followed by many hyper students and one frazzled teacher. Mrs. Gunter thought she'd never make it through the bus ride to the zoo. She had to listen to hours of 'This is the song that never ends' and thought she'd go crazy.

The children's first visit was to see the lions. Paul was hoping to see huge, ferocious, lions that were trying to tear the fence down, but instead the lions were dozing peacefully in the sun.

"Hey, you lions! Get up und do somezing! Lions, lions, lions! You suck lions! You su-ck, you su-ck, you suuuuuckkk!' taunted Paul.

Since his teasing had no effect on the lions, he decided that poking one with a stick would help get them up and moving. Paul crept up behind a sleeping lioness, (from behind the safety of the fence of course) and poked her right in the backside. Nothing happened. So Paul decided to poke harder. Still nothing happened. So, Paul kept poking harder and harder until the lioness jumped up and growled so loud that it sent Paul's entire class screaming in the opposite direction.

"Holy Gott!" screamed Paul as he ran after his classmates. "Stupid lion!"

The class's next stop was to visit the giant turtles. When they got there Paul noticed that one turtle was trying to repeatedly climb over another turtle, but couldn't quite make it.

'Come on! You can do it! Just climb over! Turtle, turtle, turtle! Here turtle! … Hey Mrs. Gunter, vhat iz it trying to do now..?" asked Paul excitedly. Mrs. Gunter responded by clamping her hands over his eyes and dragging him away.

The class then next stopped at the snack bar, where Paul purchased a four scoop chocolate ice cream cone. With his face, shirt and hands covered in melted ice cream, Paul proceeded to look at monkeys.

"Hey Paul, zat monkey looks like you!" laughed a girl named Sleena.

"You shut up, Sleener, the wiener, the vacuum cleaner!" retorted Paul.

<"You shut up, small Paul! You eat monkey brains for breakfast!"

"I do not! … You suck!" Paul retaliated, and then wiped his chocolate covered hand in Sleena's hair. Sleena screamed and ran to the bathroom crying. The next thing Paul knew, he was having a 'time out' on the park bench.

As the day went on, Paul had almost completed his ice cream cone, but he was getting very full and couldn't finish it. He was very determined to not to throw it out, so he decided to offer the last of it to Penny. Penny took one look at Paul's face and shirt that were absolutely smeared with ice cream and thought she was going to be sick.

"Ewwwwwww! Gross! Zat is so disgusting! Get it avay from me!" She screamed and backed away from Paul.

Paul, on the other hand was completely insulted, he thought he was trying to do something nice for the girl he liked and this is how she treated him!

"Shut up Henny Penny! You're an ass fairy!" yelled Paul, not knowing what it meant. The next thing Paul knew, he was having another time out on the bench.

Still holding on to his cone, Paul and his classmates walked over to see the goats. As Paul leaned over the fence to call to them, one goat sauntered over and stole Paul's ice cream in one gulp.

"Stupid goat! You're an Uber Slut! Give mein cone back! Stop eating mein cone! I vant it back! Mrs. Gunter! Ze goat stoled mein cone!" Paul stamped in foot in protest. The goat responded by peeing on the ground right near Paul. Paul decided that he hated goats.

The class's next stop was to the washroom. (Mrs. Gunter decided that she needed a few minutes to gain her sanity back.) While the others were making use of this stop, Paul busied himself by wetting paper towels and throwing them at the ceiling. While he was throwing one particular wet one at the ceiling, his aim was just a tiny bit off and he ending up tossing one into a stall instead.

"Vat ze…? Vho threw zat?!' cried a voice from in the stall. The door opened and Hans, a very large boy from Paul's class emerged. He took one look at Paul, whom was holding another wet paper towel in his hands, and he suddenly got very angry. With one swift movement he picked Paul up and threw him in the garbage can. Then he turned out the washroom lights and left our poor Paul all alone, stuck in the garbage can.

"Hallo? Is anyone zere? Halp! I'm stuck! Somebody? Pleaze??" pleaded Paul. "It is very dark in here! … Mrs. Gunter?…. Halp!!"

Paul began to get very scared and started to thrash around in the garbage can, flailing his arms wildly, but with no avail. Just as Paul thought he's have to spend the rest of his life in the garbage, a zoo official heard Paul's cries and came into the washroom and rescued him.

Back on his feet once again, Paul soon forgot about the whole incident and skipped merrily towards the elephants, with the rest of his class. Paul jumped up and down with glee as he watched the huge elephants rip leaves off the trees with their massive trunks. Paul and Penny moved right up against the fence in order to get a closer look at them. One particularly large elephant walked towards them and Paul watched in horror as it reached its trunk over the fence and touched Penny on the head. The elephant meant her no harm, but all the children thought it was trying to eat her. Penny screamed bloody murder and Paul being the courageous little tyke he was, pushed Penny out of the way and stopped the elephant from devouring her.

"Paul, you saved mein life! Zank you!" said Penny as she threw her arms around Paul.

"Paul and Penny sitting in a tree .. K- I- S- S- I- N-G …. first comes luff zen comes marriage…" taunted the other children, until Paul told them to shut up and then blushed furiously.

The day came to a close as the children were herded on to the bus and Mrs. Gunter prepared herself for another three thousands rounds of 'This is the song that never ends.'

T H E E N D